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14. september 2000

 

***

Ma ei tea, kas sind huvitab see, mis ma siia edasi kirjutan, aga kui.. siis loe.
Mul pole miskit selle vastu, kui selle leheklje vahele jtad.

Lugesin hiljuti Castanedat. Tead sellist ? Ta on ks nid, kes ppis mehhikos indiaanlaste juures. Mulle meeldis viis, kuidas seal asju seletati ja kirjeldati, st see sobis mu maailmassteemi..
Seal polnd miskit tilulilu juttu, kui hea tema lhenemisviis on, vi et mingit asjatut tule mber kargamist... (viimasega sarnast natu oli, peyote-katkused jne.... kuid nagu nia seletuses selguski, et need polnud olulised, need on mnedele inimestele vajalikud thelepanu ja mtlemise petmiseks, krvale juhtimiseks..)
Natuke enne seda just vaatasin esimest korda Matrixi filmi... (nagu smboolses mttes tegin seda oma arvutist). See aitas mul hiljem Castanedast hulga paremini aru saada....

Oled sa kunagi kuulnud sellist mtet, et kik, mis me mber on, on vaid kirjeldus ? Matrixis oli see miskit, mis oli me silme ette manatud he hiiglasuure ssteemi poolt... Nojah. ma mitte ei hakka nd matrixi sndmuste kiku mber jutustama, see, mis filmis konkreetselt toimus, pole lcegi oluline... Thtis on pigem, et ta kattus taas he ssteemiga, mis viimasel ajal on aina rohkem kinnitust saanud vga erinevatest allikatest nii lhenemise kui ka ajaloolise pritolu mttes. Seeprast kirjutan, et tahan sel teemal mtteid jagada ja otsin inimest, kes kah midagi taolist tunnetanud ja mtelnud on. Tahan kuulata, mis teistel sellest telda on.

Castaneda petaja don Juan kirjeldas maailma kui koosnevana kahest osast: Tonal ja Nagual. Tonal on see, mis on me silmade ette manatud, kirjeldus, kuidas meile petatakse maailma ngema snnist saadik....
Me asume nagu he muna sees.. kuid olemas on veel nagual, 'teisel pool', kus ei kehti meie kirjeldused ja loogika... see on nagual... need kaks asja, tonal ja nagual, ei saa eksisteerida korraga hes kohas.
Matrixis oleks siis nende analoogideks virtuaalne maailm ja reaalne maailm, kuhu miljonid ja miljardid inimesed, kes lihtsalt elavad oma elu, et kord surra, kunagi ei jua. Nad ei tahagi - kui neile sellest rkida, ilmselt nad oleksid liiga inertsed. Pigem nad kaitsevad oma maailmakorda & pilti, nii kuidas suudavad. Piirangutest hoolimatta.
Castanedas on nagual see, kuhu ja kust tagasi liiguvad niad vastavalt oma soovile.

Mis on siis see nagual ?
Olen pris palju lugenud tuumafsikast ja ka seal on jutud millegi taoliseni... juba Einstein tahtis luua peale oma kuulsa relatiivsusteooria (mis siis antud jutus thendaks tonali kirjeldust) veel hendvlja teooriat, mis minu jaox samastub nagualiga. Samasugusena kirjeldavad seda vlja ka joogid, ehkki omas keeles, kuid siiski kllaltki arusaadavalt ja ilma mingi erinevuseta. Nende sinnani judmise viis on vaid teine.
(Isiklikult eelistan indiaanlase oma, sest see ei eitanud teadust, pigem kirjeldas, milleni see ldse juda viks ning kus on piir, ning polnud seal ka sellist suhtumist nagu on idas - et on meistrid ja nendest alamal olevad pilased. Muidugi oli petaja ka Castanedal, kuid see oli teistmoodi. Raamat ise on loetav juturaamatuna.)
Muide, Einsteini elu eesmrk olevat olnud saavutada midagi, mis teeks vimalikuks, et kik maailma inimesed saaksid olla nnelikud, vabad ja saaxid end teostada...

Tnapeva fsikas viks seda hendvlja nimetada ntx 'kvantsupiks' :) - see on miski, mis on kikjal ja on pigem voolav kui tkkis (nagu on aatomid ja sellest vixemad osakesed pealtpoolt vaadatuna).
(Niiet ksimus, kas seda saab jagada veel vixemax, osutub minu meelest mttetuks. Ksimus on algusest peale valesti pstitatud, selleprast ei saa sellele ka vastata. Minu arust oleks huvitav leida veel taolisi valesti pstitatud ksimusi maailma asjade kohta, see vix olla heaks teejuhiks alternatiivsetele vaatenurkadele.)
See miski siis tidab kik ja on pidevas liikumises.
Vtaksin vrdluseks je - ta voolab oma sngis, mille kujuteldavateks kallasteks on siis hetkel aatomite vi osakeste kuju, ning mille vormid ta vtab, pealtnha moodustades meie katsutava ja meelega tajutava maailma. Seestpoolt on kik aga hoopis teine...

Oletan, et mida rohkem naguali vi kvantsupi vi hendvlja vi energia vi olgu see mis iganes, poole liikuda, seda rohkem tuleb esile leminekutsooni, kuni jutakse puhta hendvljani, seda rohkem hakkavad kehtima uued seadused ja kaovad 'kvas' maailmas kehtivad fsilised piirangud. Mned neist piirangutest on letatud ka fsikute poolt. Siiski on need letamised tegelikult rohkem kehtivad 'elusas' kui 'elutus'. Fsikud saavad oma tulemusi vaid hiiglavikestes momentides ja hulkades.
On leitud osakesed, mis ei hooli ajast, st nad on omavahel snkroonis momentaalselt, mitte valguse kiirusel; veel enam, nad 'teavad' ajas ette, mis ees ootab (ntx labrindis, missuguse kujuga see on) ja kituvad vastavalt, et tekiks tulevikus teatud olukord. Seda hetkel pikemalt ei seleta.
Tahcin vaid juhtida thelepanu, et kui mnisada aastat tagasi olid fsikud need, kes lid meie praeguse determineeritud ja 'tkilise' maailmapildi, on nd just nemad need, kes rgivad midagi hoopis vastupidist. - Midagi taolist, et kikjal on elu ja kik elab ning kik on ks.

Milleks mulle kik see ?
Asi selles, et usud sa vi ei (sel juhul sa pole vist siiani lugemisega ldse judnudki), kui ma olin pris vike, tleme nii 3-4 aastane, ei teadnud veel snu 'energia' ja muud taolist, ei olnud veel ppinud lugema ning mngisin oma klotsidega...
Mletan selgesti korda, kui istusin suures toas ja vaatasin vanaaegse 'Singeri' mblusmasina ning laua jalga ning mtlesin vi tundsin, et kik see voolab, seestpoolt, mis ma nen - see, mis praegu on laud, on jrgmisel hetkel mnguklots, siis minu jalg ning lpuks hoopiski hk teises toas ja vibolla kgis askeldav ema vi toit, mida ta oli valmistamas.
ritasin seda mitmel korral teistele kirjeldada, kuid see ei nnestunud. Mtlesin veel palju sellest, kuid lppude lpuks ji see ikka lihtsalt mingiks teadmiseks kusagil mu teadvusesopis.
Nd korraga on sellele aga niipalju kinnitusi tulnud niivrd erinevatest allikatest.

Noh, viks veel tuua naljakamat sorti nitena Levi, kes kirjeldas 'Universumi teadmiste keskpanka', mida tasub oma mttes 'programmeerida', et panna oma elus juhtuma teatud asju. Levi on pshhiaater. Vaffa huumoriga muide.
Ma kll ei tea, kas ta ise uskus seda, aga ilmselt oli ta mte igatahes selles, et kui inimene midagi usub, siis ta ise astub samme, et selleni juda. (see oli nd tonali hbematu kommentaar minu naguali propaganda peale;)

Aga mis on siis kige selle mne arvates lihtsalt filosoofia mte ? Miks mitte lihtsalt tepoolest elada ra oma elu ja surra nii, nagu sndisidki ning jtkata aina ning aina samamoodi ? Minu jaoks on selles 'filosoofias' tetera ning kike teadmist vib kuidagi heaoluks ning hveks ra kasutada... kunagi.

Selles mttes ntx pole head ega halba, halb on samamoodi hea, algselt, kuid lihtsalt ta on niielda 'valesti paigutatud'. Kui sa paned kokku puzzlet ja teed seda valesti, siis see ongi see, mis on midagi taolist, nagu on 'halb'. Tuleb vaid tkid igesse kohta tsta... kuid kindlasti ei tohi htegi tkki hvitada ja ega tegelikult neist ei saagi lahti (kuhjates nad ntx kik hte nurka;).

Castaneda kirjutas, et elu on mttetus. Niiet on valida, kas lpetada elamine, vi elada (ning loodusjud meid seda tegema ju on pannud (seega on elamine meie loomulik olemise viis), milleks vastu prussida ? - vi kui, siis tehkem seda juba, mis mtet on mttetult passida ?) teadlikult, et elu on mttetus ning siiski olles selle vimaluse valinud, teha seda parimal moel, mida suudad, anda endast parim.
Enamus inimesi vireleb ja ootab surma, kuid siiski ei sure. Mned keskenduvad meeletult naudingute tagaajamisele, kuid see siiski on vist kaugel teadlikkusest ja vastavast toimimisest.
kskord sureme niikuinii ning pseme mttetusest, kuid seni miks mitte anda oma parim ning katsuda olla nnelik, vaba ning ennastteostav ? Ning juda naguali vi Nirvaanasse vi kuhu iganes, et viksime siis sealt vabalt tulla ja minna, millal aga tahame millal nagual tahab.

Tegelikult oleme me kik ksi ja seda igavesti, kuid olgu siis juba vajutades punast nuppu oma peas ning olles rmsad ning pdes anda terakest sellest teistelegi, kellest hoolime. See viimane on tegelikult ilgelt raske. Palju raskem, kui iseendaga toime tulla ja vaid enda vastu hea olla, ehkki ilma selleta ei saa alustadagi vist ning sellenigi juda vib kunagi pris keeruline olla.

kskord sureme niikuinii ning pseme mttetusest, kuid seni miks mitte anda oma parim ning katsuda olla nnelik, vaba ning ennastteostav ? Katsuda teha kellelegi peale endagi veel head?
Ning juda naguali vi Nirvaanasse vi kuhu iganes, et viksime siis sealt vabalt tulla ja minna, millal aga tahame millal nagual tahab.

Joogidel on see, mis paneb 'energia' liikvele, mis tekitab selles vnkumise ning sunnib seda muutuma ning vtma maailma kuju - karma. Ja et karma ise ei ole sama, mis 'energiavli', ning et viimane on ikkagi primaarne. Kuid samas ei saa elda, kumb oli ennem, kas puu vi seeme. Mlemad on alati olnud.
Selle laloleva ligu kohta ei tea ma palju... tahaks.
Kige selle kohta tahaks veel palju teada. Mis mtted Sinul tekkisid ?

Ka Matrixi maailm oli loodud algselt inimestele kohaks, kus kik saaxid olla nnelikud ja kus poleks muresid. Kuid filmi poleks, kui selles ssteemis poleks vimust vtnud killuke sellest ssteemist endast ning.. jah, see on selle filmi sisu ja Matrix oli tehislik maailma kirjeldus. Kuid meie elame telises maailmas ning siin ei ole hid, halbu ega rumalaid. Rumalaid vibolla on. Aga sel juhul oleme me kik, inimesed, rumalad ja mitte vhe. Isegi niad on ning nad ei eita seda.

Tahaksin teada, mida sina arvad maailmast, nii sellest 'reaalsest' poolest, kui ka milline on sinu 'oma maailm' ? kki sa kirjutaksid ?
Olen nd sulle kirjanud oma maailmast kesoleval hetkel (see on testi nii kesoleval hetkel, kuid samas on ta alati selline olnud, kuid mitte nii aktuaalne, kuigi ega ta praegugi seda vga palju ole). - tlesid kord, et ei taha eriti oma maailma phe mrida kellelegi.
Nd mina jllegi ei taha sulle phe mrida, nagu sa peaksid sellest jutustama. Aga ma olen valmis sind kuulama/lugema, kui sul tuleb tahtmine mulle vi kasvi enda jaox midagi hsti/halvasti kirjeldada. (mina tegin seda vist halvasti, lohakalt ja kiiruga, ei andnud hti oma parimat, aga olgu olla:). Rkida meeldib mulle sellest rohkem, kuigi kehtib sama reegel, kui sulgi (minu oletus) - ei taha sellest eriti kellegile rkida, tavaliselt isegi siis, kui ksitaxe. Ei tea miks.

Jah.. vga pikk sai (sepik?).
  
***
 
  
  
 


 
 
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